Thursday, June 26, 2014

Lessons Learned From a Decade of Marriage

Hello Friends!

It’s hard to believe it, but last Thursday was our tenth wedding anniversary! It’s unreal how fast the years fly by!

Will and I were so blessed to have taken an (early) anniversary trip to Maui a few weeks ago while my parents kept our kiddos. It was lovely to enjoy each other’s company and have fun together, just the two of us.

I always get very nostalgic around anniversaries, birthdays and other life milestones. So over the past week I’ve been thinking over the last ten years and all that’s happened: the good, the bad and the ugly. I thought I’d make a list of ten things I’ve learned from being married for a decade and share them with you throughout the next week.
  1. Do Your Bills Together and Get on a Budget: Be a team, align your goals and combine your finances. I don’t know how we started out doing it this way, but I am so grateful that we have always done our bills together. We’re total nerds and often do our bills and budget on Friday nights, complete with spreadsheets. We discuss what came in and what needs to go out. We also discuss any short or long-term savings goals that we have.
    We didn’t start out on a budget, but a few years in we got on the same page and decided to give every dollar a name, ahead of time and on purpose, as Dave Ramsey says. We were able to pay off a lot of debt and keep each other accountable to the budget and our goals. We’re not always perfect, we both like to spend money, but because we work together and discuss finances regularly, we rarely fight about money. Statistically the number one cause of divorce in America is money problems.  When you act independent of each other, especially with regard to finances, it leaves room for judgment, entitlement and accusation. The best way to fight against that statistic is to work together and both be involved with the finances.
  2. Go to Bed at the Same Time: At least try to! We are not perfect with this, as Will sometimes has to stay up late working, but we try. We realized that when we go to bed at the same time, we have time to talk and connect before going to sleep. Around year five, we saw how going to bed regularly at different times had contributed to various issues in our marriage. Once we started going to bed at the same time, things improved.  

I’d love to read your comments on this series, so leave one below or on my Facebook page, www.facebook/andreabfortenberry. Check back soon for the next two lessons. If you don’t want to miss a post, subscribe to my e-mail list and you’ll receive my posts to your inbox. Enter your address in the box to the right.


Have a great Friday!

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