Friday, July 18, 2014

Marriage Lessons Learned - Part 3

Happy Friday!

I’ve not posted in a while because we had an unexpected injury in our house. Our son broke his leg more than a week ago, so things have been different around here. I’m grateful that he’s been in good spirits and he’ll be able to start walking on the hard cast this weekend. Thankfully kids heal pretty quickly, so he’ll only have the cast on for a month.

I’m continuing my marriage series today with two more things I’ve learned from ten years of marriage.

5. Learn to Like What He Likes: Or at least learn to be interested in the things he likes. I tease Will that he has it pretty good because I love football and enjoy watching games together. We have both loved the 49ers since childhood, which sealed the deal for Will when he found that out as we were dating.

But there are other things that Will enjoys that I’ve learned to take an interest in over the past ten years, like cars, firearms and golf. I’m not saying that I jump for joy at any of those things, but I’ve learned to try them (and have even come to enjoy them) because I love my husband. And I appreciate that he wants to do these things with me, so I choose to invest the time once in a while. I ride along in the golf cart about once a year, we go shooting a few times a year and I’ve come to love his favorite car show, Top Gear. Another bonus is that when I invest in his interests, it also makes him more open to my interests.

6. Don’t Put Him in the Dog House: Ephesians 4:26b says, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Despite knowing this verse, there have been times when we have gone to bed angry. Sometimes it’s just hard to resolve problems or a disagreement immediately, right? There have even been times when I’ve wanted to sleep on the couch because I was so mad, but something always holds me back.

There’s something about lying next to each other that usually helps diffuse the situation, even if I’m fuming mad at him on the other side of the bed with the covers over my head. One of two scenarios usually happens:

A: I often stay awake, analyzing the situation over and over again when I’ll notice that he fell asleep. When he does, I pray over him and whatever situation we’re facing. My heart softens (usually) when I see him sleeping because he looks so peaceful. I go to bed more at ease because I’ve prayed and allowed my anger to subside.

B. Or sometimes we’ll both toss and turn until one of us reaches over the invisible line in the bed with a gentle touch. Even though we still might have issues to solve, it communicates love and invites restoration.

Again, we’re not perfect and sometimes go to bed and still wake up angry with each other. But we’ve found it’s best for us not to send each other to the dog house overnight.

Do you have a marriage tip so share? I’d love to hear them.

Have a great weekend!

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