Monday, August 4, 2014

Marriage Lessons Learned: Part 4

Happy Monday!

I’ve really enjoyed reflecting and sharing with you over the past few weeks about marriage and what I’ve learned. Marriage, like parenting, is not easy and requires work, but it’s oh so worth it.

 7. Don’t Use the D Word: As we went through pre-marital counseling, our pastor and his wife gave us this admonition and we follow it. We both agreed when we got married that divorce would not be an option for us, so we don’t even lay it out on the table or use it in conversation when we’re arguing or not getting along.
The thought of running away from a person and their problems might seem tempting sometimes. But I know this truth: we all have our problems—we’re all imperfect sinners with baggage. Once people get divorced and find new people, the new people have problems too, just different ones.
A few months ago Lila asked me how two sisters she knew didn’t have the same mom. I explained that they had different mothers because the older sister’s parents got divorced and the dad remarried. It was a really sad conversation to have with a five-year-old. I assured her that she doesn’t have to worry about her mommy and daddy getting a divorce because we promised God and each other to stay together for life.
We might want to strangle each other once in a while, but we’re in it for the long haul. J

8. Keep the Little Problems Little: I definitely believe that couples should be unified and on the same team, but there are just some instances when you won’t be. For instance, in our house, we have Team Mayo (Will) and Team Miracle Whip (me). He cuts his sandwiches into triangles and I cut mine into rectangles.

My kids love the book Big Dog, Little Dog by P.D. Eastman. We quote a line from that book often, “Why make big problems out of little problems?” Here’s how we do just that: We both like what we like and they aren’t always the same things, so we avoid some conflict by paying extra to have both, like condiments and tubes of toothpaste.

I’d love to hear your marriage lessons, so please leave a comment or two. Have a great week!

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