Thursday, April 9, 2015

The God Who Sees Me

Two weeks ago, my son broke his arm. He thought it would be fun to pull out his sister’s roller skates while I put away groceries. I told him to stay on the carpet, but he wanted to try it out on the kitchen tile, which of course was not a good idea. I told him to wait until I could help him, but he took off before I could stop him and fell.

The day after the accident, I spent three hours (no exaggeration) on the phone with two different doctor’s offices, my husband and our medical coverage company. I felt depleted and defeated. It had not been in my plans for William to break his arm.  Time and money we had allocated for other things would now be allocated toward these frustrating phone calls and appointments. It was almost noon and I was still in my pajamas.

This set me off on crazy roller coast of emotions and negative self-talk that went something like this: You should have made him put the roller skates away. You’re a push over. You’re weak. You’re a bad mom. You don’t do anything right.

During these years of being a stay-at-home mom, I’ve learned that being in the house all day with just the kids can sometimes make you crazy. It can make your problems seem so magnified and can make you feel so very alone, that no one sees or cares about you. But that isn't really the case.

One of my favorite Bible stories is in Genesis 16. Abram and Sarai haven’t been able to have a child, although God had promised Abram that He would make his descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. Frustrated that she can’t make it happen on her own, Sarai decides to let her husband conceive a child through her maidservant, Hagar.

Hagar becomes pregnant and Sarai, jealous and upset at the situation, treats Hagar pretty terribly. Hagar runs away and has an amazing encounter with God. She walks away encouraged, calling God “the God who sees me.”

God continually amazes me with His timing and the way He uses people to remind me that He is “the God who sees me.”

After the three hours of phone calls and beating myself up, my sweet next-door-neighbor and her mom dropped by and brought me flowers and a gift card to thank me for helping them out with something a few weeks prior. What timing, it was just what I needed! It was such a sweet reminder from God and my neighbor that I am loved and that I matter.

The next day we had a playdate scheduled and I was definitely looking forward to being out of the house and visiting with a friend. I felt a little better compared to the day before, but still felt the weight of life pressing down on me.

While at my friend’s house, her sweet almost-two-year-old boy ran up to me and wanted me to pick him up. He gave me a hug. He wanted to sit in my lap. Over the next few hours he continued to shower me with affection. My friend said he doesn’t usually do that with people. I truly think that my Father, “the God who sees me,” knew I needed some extra love that day and used that precious boy to deliver it.

You just never know how much someone needs to hear from you; how your act of kindness can make them remember that God is the God who sees them.

Who can you reach out to this week with that reminder of love and encouragement?

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