Friday, April 13, 2018

When You Feel Overlooked

Have you ever felt overlooked? Forgotten? Not invited?

Me too.

Maybe you see on social media that your friends got together and didn’t invite you.

Maybe you find out about an opportunity you think you’d be perfect for, but they asked someone else.

The latter happened to me recently and honestly, I felt just plain jealous. Overlooked. Not appreciated. All the yuckies.

One evening it was quiet and I was thinking about this opportunity I wanted to be mine. In my heart, I felt God say, “Andrea, it’s not your turn, love. Remember what you’ve written about this before.”

I knew exactly what He was talking about.

Two years ago one of my writer friends posted a question about this very thing: how do we deal with jealousy when other people get the opportunities we want? She decided to turn the answers into a blog series at the Me Too Moments for Moms blog.

Here’s my response that was posted in 2016:

Dear Friend,

I totally get where you are coming from, I sometimes feel this way myself. (Just a few weeks ago, in fact). But when I get to this place, I try to remember:

God's Goodness to Me: God knows me and loves me so much that He created me. When someone else has a great moment, I need to remember that it's part of God's plan for them and to celebrate with them. I trust that God has good plans that are just for me!

To Trust God's Timing: Philippians 1:6 (NLT) says, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work in you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

I trust that God would not have put desires and dreams into my heart without the intention to carry them out.

I am encouraged by the story of David: he was anointed king of Israel as a teenage shepherd. But he didn't ascend to the throne that day; he went back to the fields to tend his sheep. His experience tending sheep prepared him for the battle with Goliath and for eventually becoming king. As I wait on God, I trust that He is preparing me for whatever is ahead.      

Encouraging Verses: Galatians 6:4 (MSG) is one of my favorites, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (Emphases mine.)

Remember that God sees you, knows you and loves you. Trust in Him as you wait for your own opportunities to serve and glorify Him.


I sure needed that, did you?

When we’re so busy focusing on what other people get to do, we miss out on the special things we get to do. Are we being in faithful in what God has given us to do? Or are we too busy having a pity party?

Jealousy is one of those feelings that does creep up on us from time to time. And jealousy is the result of comparison. One of my friends, Jennifer, spoke at a women’s retreat I attended last weekend and she said something so profound, “I believe women struggle with comparison as much as men struggle with lust.”

I think she’s on to something.

So let’s make a pact to stop comparing and to celebrate other people and their opportunities. Let’s be grateful for who we are and the unique plan God has for us. Let’s take Galatians 6:4 to heart and do the creative best we can with our own life, our one and only life. Let’s live it well and walk away from jealousy.

1 comment:

  1. Boy does this EVER resonate! I recently attended our women's retreat, signed up as a volunteer, and was continually looked over/passed up as I continued to show up. The Lord is working in my heart and in my life. I'm certainly learning to lean in and listen instead of controlling and dictating. Love this!