• Home
  • About
    • My Favorite Things
  • Speaking
    • Speaking Request Form
  • Podcast
  • Events
  • Shop
    • Freebies
  • Contact
  • Blog

Andrea Fortenberry

Choosing Joy – Part I

November 4, 2016 By admin

4 Nov

 

Last week I had the privilege of speaking to the Moms Together group at my church. This motherhood gig is harder than I ever imagined it would be, so I love sharing with and encouraging other moms!

One of the things I talked about was joy. Here’s my definition of joy:

Joy isn’t happiness, it’s choosing to be at peace with your purpose in your current season.

Happiness is a feeling based upon circumstances. Joy is an intentional choice to be at peace no matter your circumstances. Life is full of changes, so we’ll never feel happy all the time. But we can choose to be joyful.

This is much easier said than done. But what’s helped me is to identify the answers to these questions:

What steals your joy? 

What prevents you from being at peace in your current season?

(Before I answer in a three-part series, I want to interject some real-life application as we enter the holiday season. I feel like Halloween officially begins the crazy, wonderful flurry of activity in preparation for the holidays. Although this is a wonderful time of year, I think that along the way, we often lose our joy. Even amid many wonderful things, we can quickly feel joyless, depleted and defeated. So as you read through my answers, think about how they also apply to how we handle the holidays.)

One thing that steals my joy is comparison. Social media makes this all too easy for us, doesn’t it? While it’s fun to look at people’s pictures and read their status updates, it sometimes makes us think that our lives should look a little more like theirs. We can quickly forget to be grateful for what we have because we’re spending too much time looking at what other people have.

When I was a new mom, I constantly made comparisons with my friends. It seemed like they had it all together while I was struggling. I realize now that a lot of why I compared was insecurity and feeling like I didn’t know what I was doing. (Anyone else?)

While it is good to share with friends and ask for advice, ultimately we must remember to make choices that are best for our individual families. Nothing is one size fits all! A few years in, I finally came to the place where I realized I didn’t have to make the same choices as my friends. I stopped comparing and started supporting our unique differences.

The solution to comparison is celebration! When your friend’s child is better than yours at an activity, praise their child. When your neighbors go on a luxury vacation, wish them a great trip (and mean it!). When your coworker gets a promotion, congratulate her. When friends buy a new house, bring them a housewarming gift.

God is the giver of all good gifts, so celebrate that He blesses us all in different ways and at different times. When we are the recipients of His generosity, don’t we want other people to genuinely celebrate with us? Whether we’re receiving or watching others be blessed, let’s be grateful for all that God gives to us.

When we find our joy slipping away because of comparison, let’s take a look around and be thankful and celebrate all that we have. Gratitude can change our attitude!

Here are two related posts from last year that I think you’ll enjoy: 

Thanking God
How to Have More Peace This Holiday Season
Stay tuned next week for Part II!

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: gratitude, joy, thankfulness

« Planning for 2017
Choosing Joy – Part II »

Meet Andrea


Hi! I’m Andrea Fortenberry. I write and speak on marriage, motherhood, friendship and faith. I love to help women seek and see God in their everyday life. Being a wife and mother of two gives me lots of material and teaches me oh so many things.

Let’s Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest

Join Andrea

Search this site

Recent Instagram Posts

Saturday I had a revelation: I do too much for my Saturday I had a revelation: I do too much for my kids sometimes.
 
I’ve tried really hard to empower them to do things I was afraid of as a kid. Because of that, my daughter is a great swimmer. I make my son, who is shy, go to the counter at a restaurant and ask for ketchup or extra napkins.
 
Despite these efforts, there are times when it’s easier for me to do things for them, but in doing so, I’ve made it harder for myself and them in the long run.
 
Saturday after my son’s football game, we went to Subway. I ate a late breakfast and didn’t want anything, so I sat down while my husband and the kids ordered. The kids quickly ran back over to me and said, “Can you order for us?”
 
Long story short, they didn’t know what I normally order them at Subway. “We don’t know what we like here,” they said. They are 12 and 9.
 
“WHAT? You don’t know what you like on your own sandwich?!?” I couldn’t believe it. 😦
 
I had a moment of clarity: my children need to learn what they like on their own sandwich! If I’m not there or something happens to me, I want them to feel equipped for Subway. For speaking up for themselves. For school. For their faith. For journeying with God.
 
Sometimes putting our kids and ourselves in uncomfortable situations is better than taking the easy route. We all grow through the discomfort.
 
My husband and I decided that we’re making another trip to Subway this week so that the kids can be empowered to know what they like and order it for themselves. I’ll report back! 😉
Just a reminder for your Tuesday that feels like a Just a reminder for your Tuesday that feels like a Monday: HOPE is a choice. It’s not a feeling. 

We get to choose our response to the problems of the world. Will we despair or will we HOPE in our God who holds all things together? Even though we may not be able to control and change the entire world, we can make choices to improve our corner of it. We can inspire and spread HOPE to the people God places in our lives. 

Today, I choose HOPE. 💗
Could you use some hope as we wind down this week? Could you use some hope as we wind down this week? 

This week’s episode of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Mothering is all about daring to hope. 

I’ve received several messages from listeners saying this is just what they needed or that this has been their favorite episode so far. 💗 

I’m truly honored to spend time with you during these episodes. You can listen via the link in my bio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Put up my verse for this year on my letter board. Put up my verse for this year on my letter board. I was one white y short. 😆 

If you ever come to my house, you’d see that besides family photos, I don’t have artwork of landscapes, abstract patterns or florals hanging on the walls. But I have many signs and decor with words, Bible verses and phrases that are meaningful to me. (Swipe over for a peek.) It’s important to put Scripture and inspiring, life-giving messages where we can see them. I hope my kids soak them in and take them to heart as they grow.

What kind of artwork, Bible verses or phrases do you have up at your house?
This has been my morning routine for a while and i This has been my morning routine for a while and it has made such a difference in my mood and my outlook on the world. 

We may not be able to control what’s going on outside our homes, but we can control our routines and what we allow inside our hearts and minds. I know that I can’t handle news and social media first thing in the morning before I do these five things. Settling my heart, mind, and body puts me in a much better position to intake news or scroll the polarizing opinions and loud voices on social media. 

I’ve heard @lysaterkeurst say, “We must exchange whispers with God before shouts with the world.” She’s so right. 💯

Do you want an accountability partner to check on you as you commit to these five steps this month? Give me a 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️ below and I’ll follow up with you. ❤️
I’m a processor and I’m usually slow to post s I’m a processor and I’m usually slow to post something. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I prefer to wrestle with my feelings, write, pray, and/or talk with a close few. I think it’s the introvert in me. (And also the recovering perfectionist.)

While my heart has been heavy this week, I am also filled with HOPE. God knew that needed to be my word this year and I’m so thankful. 

A very sweet friend sent me this verse via text Wednesday morning, hours before the events at the Capitol. How poignant these words are to us right now!

I am daring to HOPE because I know God is still at work. I know He is Immanuel, God with us. He isn’t shocked by our world and our sinfulness. Yet, He still offers us fresh mercy, comfort, and salvation in Jesus, our living HOPE. 

May we place our HOPE in the God of HOPE because He is trustworthy and true.

Leave a ❤️ if you’ll join me in daring to hope.
For the last few years, I’ve picked a word to fo For the last few years, I’ve picked a word to focus on for the year. I pray and ask God what my word should be. 

Saturday I jotted down words on a list and prayed that God would help me figure it out. I was out shopping later that night and He reminded me of Romans 15:13. Then at church on Sunday, we sang a worship song about HOPE. I knew it was my word! 

Even though turning the calendar to 2021 didn’t change much in the world, I am hopeful that great things are still to come! And even when those moments come when I’m not so sure, I’m choosing to HOPE in the God of HOPE. 

Do you pick a word of the year? I’d love to hear it👇🏼.
#topnine of 2020. While this year was full of chan #topnine of 2020. While this year was full of change and things we didn’t ask for or expect, it also brought me many new experiences, relationships, and opportunities. Life is like that, a beautiful blend of bitter and sweet. 

Thankful for all I learned in 2020 and excited for the year ahead!
Follow on Instagram

Copyright© 2021 Andrea Fortenberry