Before I became a mom, I had so many expectations of what I thought motherhood would be like. I imagined that I’d love every moment of it and that my kids would always be compliant and calm.
I’ve been a mom for more than a decade and I can tell you that while I love being a mom, there are moments I don’t always enjoy. It can be draining in every way: physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are some days when I just want to crawl under the covers and be left alone.
I used to feel guilty for wanting a break from my kids and from the responsibilities of home. As an introvert, I knew I needed time away, but I felt bad for saying that out loud. I falsely believed that good moms didn’t need to get away from their kids.
Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: if you don’t get regular intervals of time away from your kids, you’ll forget who you are. You’ll feel more agitated and irritated with them. You’ll resent how much they need you and how your own needs aren’t being met.
So what’s the solution? Schedule time for yourself to get away!
It seems so simple, but it’s hard for us to do because we feel guilty about it.
But let’s consider Jesus as an example for a moment. He too was busy with meeting others’ needs and caring for people. He poured Himself out daily for the good of others. Yet, He took the time regularly to get away.
Luke 5:15-16 says, “Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
Was this selfish of Him? Certainly not! Jesus set aside time to be alone to pray and be refreshed so that He could continue to minister to others.
We would we wise to do the same.
With summer approaching and the days will be long and hot, schedule some time for yourself to be alone and to do things that refresh you. Think about how you can incorporate this time daily, weekly and monthly.
This may look like:
- Getting up 15 minutes earlier than your kids to have quiet time for prayer and Bible reading. (This is hard if you have early risers, I know from experience, but it’s not impossible. Ask your spouse for help. Or it’s okay to put on a TV show for the kids so you can have a few minutes to yourself.)
- Scheduling an evening out each week to read, have dinner with friends, or take a class. Or just go wander around Target or Barnes and Noble.
- Making regular appointments for counseling or coaching. Or a massage.
- Hiring a babysitter or trading childcare with a friend so you can have some time away.
In addition to spending time away, we moms often feel guilty for spending money on ourselves because it takes away from our family. But here’s the truth: the time and money you spend investing in yourself is a direct investment back into your family. A better mom equals a better family, so don’t feel guilty for using family resources on yourself. You are worth it!
The next time you feel that mom guilt creeping up when you feel yourself needing time away, reverse that false narrative. Instead of telling yourself that you’re not a good mom because you need a break, tell yourself that you are a good mom for caring for yourself regularly. Everyone is better when mom is better!
Are you looking for Mother’s Day Gifts?
I have some helpful suggestions:
- My Online Shop: Head here to grab my devotion set, Notes to My Mama Friends, or prints of my Perfectionist’s Mothering Manifesto. They are affordable ways to spread encouragement to the moms you love. If you’re local, delivery is free!
- My Amazon List: Head here to find some of my favorite books and products that you can easily buy and ship via Prime to the moms you love.*
- DaySpring Christian Gifts: They have a wonderful selection of faith-filled gifts any mom will love.*
*These are affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission for your purchase at no cost to you! I only recommend products I personally use and think you will enjoy.