“Mack, if you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else.
But what happens if I change that expectancy to an expectation—spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and what, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend.” —The Shack, Page 207
- If you choose expectations, you’ll be mad at your friend and might even build a wall between you. You’ll likely start to keep track of the ways she messes up.
- If you choose expectancy, sure, you’ll be disappointed, but you’ll understand that things happen and will look forward to the next time you can connect.