Show Up and Listen

Yesterday I went and had lunch with my kids at school. Occasionally they ask me to do this and sometimes I am running around so much that I don’t make it as often as they’d like.

My son asked me a few days ago when I could come, and I told him Friday. Although he forgot about it and was surprised when I saw him in the lunchroom. True mom confession: for a moment, I secretly thought of “forgetting,” but I wanted to keep my word. Especially because one of my biggest moms fails ever was about being there at lunch. You can hear all about it here.

So Friday, I showed up. And I’m so glad I did.

It reminded me there’s such value in being present and listening. I picked up things about my kids and their friends while being in the lunchroom and on the playground.

When I arrived, one of my daughter’s classmates said, “How nice that you come to lunch. I want to spend time with my parents, but they’re too busy.” I talked to her about how sometimes we parents do get busy, but that even when we’re busy, we love our kids. It reminded me about the importance of spending time with my kids.

I also noticed she didn’t have a lunch. I asked her about it and she gave a few reasons for why she wasn’t eating: all they had at home was leftovers, which she didn’t like; and that with five kids in her family, they didn’t buy cafeteria lunches. I don’t know if today was a fluke or if it happens every day, but I’m glad I was there to notice she didn’t have a lunch. I e-mailed her teacher to follow up and see.

I left the school encouraged to keep showing up and listening. Not just with my kids and their friends, but in other places too. With my friends and neighbors. With my church family. With people in my life who are sometimes difficult to love.

You never know what you’ll observe and who you can help.

Speaking of which, I want to show up and listen to you. Some of you know that I’ve been speaking and writing a lot about perfectionism these days. I’m working on a book and I’d love to gather a group of ladies who struggle with perfectionism. I want us to talk about its roots, how and why we became perfectionists and how it affects us in our day-to-day lives. I want to listen to your stories.

I’m going to host a luncheon for eight people on Tuesday, May 1st at 12:30 PM in the East Valley. If you’d like to come, e-mail me and I’ll send you further details. Don’t delay, there’s only eight spots!

(If you can’t make it, I plan to host another, so stay tuned for details. I’ll also be creating an online survey you can help me with as well.)

I’d love to see you there!